ADHD, DUI, Depression, emotions, Family, Guilt, Insomnia, Jail, Panic Attacks, Anxiety, PTSD, recovery, Sentenced to Jail, Therapy, Vulnerability

The Cost of a DUI

In exactly two weeks I will be enjoying my first joint, in two years.... while I ponder that moment, let me do some reflecting on the cost of a DUI- financially and personally. I will be free of the "system", the system that prides it's self on justice. I committed a crime, yes, a terrible… Continue reading The Cost of a DUI

ADHD, DUI, Depression, Guilt, Jail, Panic Attacks, Anxiety, PTSD, recovery, Sentenced to Jail, Therapy, Vulnerability

Reflections of probation –

My long two years of probation are coming to an end in 25 todays In my Brain I worried, that if something happens and the un-just justice system pulls me back in for a small technicality, like a diluted test.. will it ever end? My heart, is so tired of this fight- I have given… Continue reading Reflections of probation –

ADHD, DUI, Jail

Booking and my first night in Jail

I got up early, I was supposed to report at noon to the jail to surrender myself. I drank the last beer in the fridge, because I knew it would be my last until after 2 years of probation were completed. I take a colonopin to settle my nerves, I’m on the verge of tears… Continue reading Booking and my first night in Jail

ADHD, DUI, Panic Attacks, Anxiety, Sentenced to Jail

The Sentencing

"I understood myself, only after i destroyed myself, and only in the process of fixing myself, did I know who I really was" -Sade Andria Zavala It was a 9 am appointment time for my sentencing hearing. I was wearing business attire, a white shirt and blazer, and low wedge heels. I wore my hair… Continue reading The Sentencing

ADHD, DUI, Panic Attacks, Anxiety

An Avalanche of Anxiety

My first debilitating panic attack I encountered was when I was in college. I had a friend who was pregnant but somehow kept it a secret from our close circle of friends, she was in serious denial about her situation and didn’t tell me until she was 7 months in, and was having some issues.… Continue reading An Avalanche of Anxiety

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Mandatory Guilt

I received a call from the attorney the next day, it was brief, very direct, and expensive. I told them the information that they asked for, and received a dialogue of what my next steps were, what to expect in the process and what I should start doing right away. I liked hearing that there… Continue reading Mandatory Guilt

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Grow Through What You Go Through

The next few days were a struggle, I wasn't sure what the exact consequences were of my actions the previous night, but I was learning from various online searches what I really got myself into. The legal limits and consequences for my county. I knew i was screwed. I threw up. I dug and dug… Continue reading Grow Through What You Go Through