ADHD, Depression, emotions, Feel and let feel, intamacy, Let People in, Panic Attacks, Anxiety, PTSD, rape, recovery, Selfcare, SOS, Therapy, Vulnerability

Intimacy

I haven't had sex in two years. I decided after getting my DUI and breaking up with my rebound-boyfriend, that I was going to take the next two years and dedicate them to myself. I was placed on probation for two years, so two years of sobriety and abstinence sounded like a good duo. Now… Continue reading Intimacy

ADHD, DUI, Depression, Insomnia, Panic Attacks, Anxiety, PTSD

A note to the sleepless…

You’re tired, but you can't sleep. Your head won't calm down, and you shoulders won't ease up. You grind your teeth and repeat over and over “just fall asleep” but it isn’t working like it used to. You wonder what time it is now, illuminating the screen on your phone, knowing that’s not going to… Continue reading A note to the sleepless…

Depression, emotions, Guilt, Letter to my guilt, Panic Attacks, Anxiety, projections, PTSD, recovery, Therapy

A letter to my Parents

I was asked to write a letter to my parents, so that I could express my emotions fully to them. My therapist and I had scheduled a session so that I could ask them how they felt when I was arrested, put in Jail for 10 days, and dealing with my DUI in general. I… Continue reading A letter to my Parents

ADHD, DUI, Jail

Booking and my first night in Jail

I got up early, I was supposed to report at noon to the jail to surrender myself. I drank the last beer in the fridge, because I knew it would be my last until after 2 years of probation were completed. I take a colonopin to settle my nerves, I’m on the verge of tears… Continue reading Booking and my first night in Jail

ADHD, DUI, Panic Attacks, Anxiety, Sentenced to Jail

The Sentencing

"I understood myself, only after i destroyed myself, and only in the process of fixing myself, did I know who I really was" -Sade Andria Zavala It was a 9 am appointment time for my sentencing hearing. I was wearing business attire, a white shirt and blazer, and low wedge heels. I wore my hair… Continue reading The Sentencing

ADHD, DUI, Panic Attacks, Anxiety

An Avalanche of Anxiety

My first debilitating panic attack I encountered was when I was in college. I had a friend who was pregnant but somehow kept it a secret from our close circle of friends, she was in serious denial about her situation and didn’t tell me until she was 7 months in, and was having some issues.… Continue reading An Avalanche of Anxiety