ADHD, Depression, emotions, Feel and let feel, intamacy, Let People in, Panic Attacks, Anxiety, PTSD, rape, recovery, Selfcare, SOS, Therapy, Vulnerability

Intimacy

I haven't had sex in two years. I decided after getting my DUI and breaking up with my rebound-boyfriend, that I was going to take the next two years and dedicate them to myself. I was placed on probation for two years, so two years of sobriety and abstinence sounded like a good duo. Now… Continue reading Intimacy

Depression, emotions, Guilt, Letter to my guilt, Panic Attacks, Anxiety, projections, PTSD, recovery, Therapy

A letter to my Parents

I was asked to write a letter to my parents, so that I could express my emotions fully to them. My therapist and I had scheduled a session so that I could ask them how they felt when I was arrested, put in Jail for 10 days, and dealing with my DUI in general. I… Continue reading A letter to my Parents

ADHD, DUI, Panic Attacks, Anxiety, Sentenced to Jail

The Sentencing

"I understood myself, only after i destroyed myself, and only in the process of fixing myself, did I know who I really was" -Sade Andria Zavala It was a 9 am appointment time for my sentencing hearing. I was wearing business attire, a white shirt and blazer, and low wedge heels. I wore my hair… Continue reading The Sentencing

ADHD, DUI, Panic Attacks, Anxiety

An Avalanche of Anxiety

My first debilitating panic attack I encountered was when I was in college. I had a friend who was pregnant but somehow kept it a secret from our close circle of friends, she was in serious denial about her situation and didn’t tell me until she was 7 months in, and was having some issues.… Continue reading An Avalanche of Anxiety

Uncategorized

Mandatory Guilt

I received a call from the attorney the next day, it was brief, very direct, and expensive. I told them the information that they asked for, and received a dialogue of what my next steps were, what to expect in the process and what I should start doing right away. I liked hearing that there… Continue reading Mandatory Guilt

Uncategorized

Grow Through What You Go Through

The next few days were a struggle, I wasn't sure what the exact consequences were of my actions the previous night, but I was learning from various online searches what I really got myself into. The legal limits and consequences for my county. I knew i was screwed. I threw up. I dug and dug… Continue reading Grow Through What You Go Through