I know this is one day late, but here goes
I’m not a sad person, but I do feel great sadness sometimes. Deep and Dark sadness that sometimes feels as endless as the ocean
I am a happy and bright person- most days. A person whose light can bring laughter to a room, and help a panicked friend relieve their stress and panicked if even only for a moment.
I am a ball of tense anxiety- I think wild and endless thoughts a million miles a minute. It’s exhausting, and I worry about what seems like such tiny things, but I let them consume me completely.
But I also worry about my friends and family so much. I worry about a stranger who seems to be hiding a tear in her eye and I feel her sadness.
I worry about the stranger on the train who stares so far into the distance, searching for hope, and I too try to find hope for him.
I worry about what people think of me, and I worry that maybe I worry too much, and that makes me even more worried!
My skin will grow itchy from worry, knowing there is nothing to settle the anxiety but to scratch at it hoping to suppress the anxious thoughts.
My ADHD brain runs and runs and runs on fumes by the end of the day, and its exhausting. But It also allows me to come up with colorful and complex thoughts and plans, which I can then drop and start a new plan within seconds, still full of that inspiration and creativity, I do this a million times a day.
I look at something old in a thrift shop, and reimagine it in my mind, what I can I do to fix it and make it look new and beautiful? But when it’s time to put the plan into action- the project sits on a table untouched for months.
Yesterday was world mental health day- but in my world, what day isn’t? My Anxiety, My Depression and my ADHD come with profound challenges but also make me who I am.
And so I wrote this just to say – in case anyone needs to hear it
– You are an incredible human being and your mental “illness” should be treated more like a superpower. Spend a moment and think of all the great things your mental health have provided you, and shift your thoughts from the negative thoughts that are typically aligned with your illness-
You are loved for who you are! You are perfect the way you are!
What you endure on a daily basis is HARD b it you are STRONG
And I am with you when you feel alone, when you think “i’m the only one who could possibly feel this way”, and I am with you when you just don’t have it in you to do anything about it. I am here, and I am struggling too.
I love you and your neuro-divergent brain for all of its superpowers